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Saturday, December 23rd, 2006
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3:51 pm - crap
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hello livejournal,
this will more than likely be my last entry from iraq (of what, 2?).. because getting to this page from here is seriously just too much of a pain in the ass.. .. i have such a limited view of what a rational person might call the internet out here.. .. but hey, at least there's electric lights.
i'm good.. i'll be home soon.. i can't wait to shave my balls.. .. seriously, can not freakin wait.. .. oh, the forest. .. there's all kinds of other things that i can't wait to do and people i miss, don't get me wrong,.. but the nuts are right up there.
basically i just wanted to wish everyone a merry christmas.. .. because i've done a total shit job of keeping in contact, and you all most know that i'm thinking of someone and since i haven't really been in communication with you than it must have been someone else.. .. the only thing is that i've been out of communication entirely, so of course i'm thinking of all of you.. .. i hope you're well.. .. this should prove to be my last christmas really far away.. .. i hate not getting drunk on the holidays with friends, that's what they're made for.
xoxo
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| Thursday, October 26th, 2006
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8:53 pm - hey there....
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so,.. without being very specific i just wanted to chime in and say that i am alive and well,.. although bored as snot.. .. it will start raining any day now which will be weird seeing as how i've gone weeks without a single cloud in the sky..
you would think that i would be able to think of more things to say here.. .. and, well.. .. i don't really have them.. .. i had, for a very long time, lost my list of addresses of people due letters.. .. but, as of about two days ago, that list is salvaged,.. .. so ya'll can expect some postings from iraq here, soon.. .. .. .. the aussies have some strange vehicles.. .. i have pictures, and at some point in the future might even be able to post a few.. .. but not tonight.. ..
hmm.. .. i think that's about all i've got for this month.. .. happy halloween, kids.. miss ya
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| Wednesday, August 30th, 2006
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1:42 am
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okay livejournal, here's the deal... i'm going away for a few months.. .. pretty soonish now,.. and i don't know that i'll really be able to update much at all.. .. and if i can then i am sure i would need to be even more vague than i usually am.. .. so i probably won't really, anyhow.. .. there's precious little time for you to get the info in to me, but if you want me to write or email please give me an address.. .. i promise at least some form of correspondence for anyone who gets their info in on time..
other than that.. .. things have been good.. .. just hectic as usual,.. .. except maybe a little more hectic lately.. .. have had a lot to do.. .. still have a lot to do.. .. need to finish packing my apartment.. i start moving it in 8 hours and all i want to do right now is sleep.. .. .. speaking of my apartment.. .. i think my thermostat is haunted.. .. it's very hot in here.
just for the record.. .. seriously don't worry about me going wherever it is that i might or mightn't be going.. .. i'm not all that worried about it.. .. and well, if i'm cool,.. then so, too, should you be.. ..
other than that,.. i'll see you guys next year.
muniz out.
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| Sunday, August 13th, 2006
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10:39 pm - happy birthday, indeed!!
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too busy to write right now because i'm at work and it's just me and sgt fucknugget.. .. but i thought i should at least wish myself a happy birthday for all the world to see.. .. and it's been pretty good.. i'll write about it later.. ..
xoxoxoxo
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| Saturday, August 5th, 2006
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3:16 pm
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ok.. .. just thought everyone would like to know that as of about 3 this morning i got the matter of the poop straightened out.. .. things are (mostly) back to normal.. .. the return of solid food will happen very shortly (although i have to admit i am a little nervous about this prospect) .. .. other than that.. .. i am weak, dehydrated, starving, sick (it's either strep throat, or mono, seems to be the conclusion.. awaiting lab results there), losing my voice, and quite a bit sleepy.. .. on that note i am going to sit around and watch my living quarters become more and more delapatated.... i just wanted to report that i pooped,.. and it was joyous.. .. and my stomach has been gurgle gargling all day since.. .. love
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| Friday, August 4th, 2006
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8:49 pm - so...
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so i wanted to wait until i got home from my excursion to kalamazoo, mi to post about it.. .. and then i got home and i had terrible anomolies with my throat.. .. so then i decided to wait until that had passed and i had a bit more energy and gusto.. .. well, i still don't,.. and it still hasn't.. but this latest development is by far the funnest.. ..
i can't poop.. .. and i was waiting for the guy to call and clear me to go to the ER before i could go.. but he just called.. .. and so now im going.. ..
you would think it is not ER material.. .. but i was already at the doctors today.. .. and at first it hurt so bad he thought it was the appendix.. .. and it wasn't.. .. and now,.. .. 9 fiber caps and a butt stick later and i still can't poop.. .. .. i hope my poop pockets don't explode.. .. ick ick ick..
so anyway.. .. going there now.. .. thought i'd share my delightful bowel stories with the entire world..
all my love
jason
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| Sunday, July 30th, 2006
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7:04 pm - dear kalamazoo
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capture the flag
you know the drill,.. (or at least, by now you should) .... tomorrow (monday) night.. 10pm .. burdick st mall .. all the same old rules.. if you have, for some odd reason, never played, it's easy.. come down, we'll explain it,.. you'll have buttloads of fun..
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| Friday, July 21st, 2006
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5:25 pm
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is that really the last post i left before a giant hiatus?! boohoo whaa and a snarf to that.. .. sheesh what a whiny bitch, i mean really.. .. anyway.. .. there'll be more soon.. .. or soonish.. .. or not so soon at all.. but eventually..
xoxoxo
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| Sunday, July 9th, 2006
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6:28 am - fuck
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i think it's quite possible that i've never felt lonelier in my entire life than i do right now.. i just don't want to be by myself.. .. it's been an awful day.. and now it's 630 in the morning on a sunday and i just want a friend that i could call up at 630 on a sunday and say please please please come over.. .. we don't have to talk.. just sit and watch cartoons with me.. .. anything.. .. and i don't have that here..
i miss lauren.. .. lauren would tell me to come over and she would sit there and try to wake up and make me play some silly video game with her.. .. .. that's what i need.. i need a video game.. .. and a lesbian friend to put the smackdown on..
this entry is so boohoo that i almost don't want to put it up.. .. but it's where i'm at, damnit.. .. im sitting here,.. and im exhausted.. .. and i'm trying so so hard not to cry.. and i know i couldn't possibly fall asleep.. and i'm wondering why i walked away from everyone that ever mattered to me.
and i don't want you, dear reader, to get the wrong idea.. .. i'm fine.. .. this will not be a lasting issue as they never are with me, are they? but fuck, man,.. i'd give anything for a normal life right now.
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| Thursday, July 6th, 2006
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5:03 am - PS..
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lisa, i will call you very soon with details.. i promise *superdoubleknotpinkyswear*
(can't wait)
xo
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4:53 am - red and blue
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it's entirely too late for have to be at work in two hours and i got stopped by the cops tonight for venting a little anger and i got searched and i got field tested to find my nose only he found my nose for me and it was freezing and he was actually pretty cool and we drove and drove and drove and i just went with my gut and sure enough if you go that way long enough you end up back where you started (or at least wanted to be)
and i just wanted to say that my friends here are pretty great,.. .. more than just people to pass the time with.. and as much as ive felt ive been without a home for years i would almost say that this place is getting to feel more and more like a home every day,.. and it's too bad that i promised myself that this would never be home.. .. not ever.. and it's too bad that i already know that it's going to break my heart just a little to leave..
and liz came to visit last week,... and already i'm back in my own world, trying to find the time to reach out to her and say where i'm at.. .. to pick up the phone and really put myself out there.. .. and already i recognize the pattern,.. and it's not the friend that i want to be,.. and it's not the friend that i need to be.. .. and it's not the friend that you deserve.. but i will do it.. .. and i wish i could have talked the other night.. .. but i was caught not knowing what to say.. .. and i still don't,.. but i'd like the chance.. .. and i know you never read this (or do you?)
so it's late and i should sleep because in a few hours i have to bury someone.. .. and well, i know that when it's my turn i wouldn't want someone doing a half assed job because they were too busy doing nothing than to take the time to care about paying my respects.. .. i would get out of my coffin and kick that mother fucker's ass.
goodnight..
kiss kiss...
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| Saturday, June 24th, 2006
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3:05 am - on another note!
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the kalamazoo kids posted an entry about capture the flag.. .. i'm so excited.. .. even if it was about how nobody has been there the past couple of weeks.. .. it'd better be back by the time i am home.. .. because i can't wait..
weird how it's spread to warrensburg, mo.. .. started a brand new chapter.. .. except here it's sunday nights at 9.. .. and often it's kick the can due to manning.. .. but, you know,.. whatev
jcm
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2:45 am - on and on
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i get so confused about the status of things here.... i have some pretty good friends here but i know that we'll lose touch.. .. it's the nature of myself.. .. at least myself and relationships.. . .. and it seems to be doubly so when i know that this is all so temporary.. .. and yet, it hasn't been nearly temporary enough..
i can't wait to move forward.. .. i can't wait to deploy,.. i honestly can't,.. just for the change of pace.. .. and then i can't wait to get out right around the corner from that.. .. less than a year now, tick tick tick.. to get on with my life.. .. i think the reason that i could never stay, no matter how much they try to convince me otherwise, the reason i could never stay is quite simply because i never incorporated it really as a part of my life.. .. as in, part of the 'getting on with my life' business.. .. it's just something that i have to go through on my way to somewhere else.. but not anywhere that i'm interested in staying.. .. and i haven't really felt whole since i got here.. .. always kind of a shell of something more waiting for that chance to .... to something..
and that's the scary thing.. .. i remember that i told myself that i would never let the military break me.. .. that i wouldn't let it turn me into one of those scary mindless zombies that you all know.. .. and for the most part it hasn't.. .. i wasn't going to let it change who i was.. .. except as more and more time goes by i can't really remember who, exactly, that person was.. .. and it's not that i'm interested in going back to that.. .. because where's the growth in that, really? it's just that all i can seem to remember was feeling lost.. for so very long.. and don't get me wrong.. .. i know there was a lot of good stuff,.. but .. well, i was thinking the other day, something i like to try to imagine, is where the me that didn't join the armed services would be.. .. where would that guy be today? and i keep coming back to a simple truth? would that guy be today, at all? i mean, i think i was on the verge of some sort of breaking point.. .. not really suicidal or anything, but i think very close to losing myself to a place that i could never have recovered from.. .. and maybe i'm wrong.. .. maybe that guy would be doing great and is so happy that he didn't make the split second rash decision to go and talk to the recruiter that i did.. .. but i do know that that wasn't a chance that i was willing to take.
i'm thinking of a number between 1 and 1.6180339887498948482045868343656381177203...
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| Sunday, June 18th, 2006
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2:12 am
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people keep reading my myspace blog even though i haven't actually updated it in months (except to include a link to here).. .. and well, .. it's starting to creep me out a little. .. maybe the little number just goes up on it's own.. maybe there's some myspace blog bots out there that just float about and leave phantom page views on there.. .. i don't know.. ..
im tired and i should stay up because i have to work the overnight tomorrow night.. .. but i'm not going to do that,.. because i am shortsighted. ..
hung out with someone today whom i've missed a great deal.. .. so that was good.. ..
need to get my shit together on this florida plan.. .. everyone here drags their feet about everything, though, if it isn't 'mission oriented'.. .. driving me freakin crazy.
had a good talk with liz last night.... miss that girl..
had some clickity clack with ashley tonight.... miss that girl, too..
spoke with lee today.. god i miss everybody..
this is the most boring post ever.. ..
i have pills, to make me poop like a normal person.. and to make my stomach not constantly ache.. .. and it's early yet to say for sure whether they work or not.. .. except every few days i'll get the weird stomach pain.. .. or else the liquid poop or the cottage cheese poop or the stinky green solid poop and think to myself 'fucking pills aren't working'.... and then i'll think to myself 'wait,.. i think i forgot to take one today'.. .. .. so maybe they are working?
maybe someday i will pose naked with a red balloon.. .. and we can have comparison picture day.. .. .. we'll see if i can find that motivation.
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| Thursday, June 8th, 2006
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12:42 am - okay, admit it...
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seriously though, am i the only one who occasionally will pull up the stats on photos posted to other people's journals to see where they are hosted and then go snooping around at the rest of the pics there? am i the only one?!! because somehow i doubt it.. ..
does kind of make one think that they should lock up their photobucket accounts.. .. but then, that's not really fair of me to do,.. .. since i go snooping in the first place.. .. at least if i allow my own to be snooped, then all is fair.. ..
anyway,.. just thought that i would ask.
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| Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
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2:09 am - storytime...
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so i know i said that i would occasionally update with stories and whatnot.. .. and have thus far only submitted one.. .... so here, then is another one,.. which i only just typed up and is about as raw as it gets,.. and im pretty sure it could use a little beefing up, but that will have to come another time,.. as i am exhausted.. .. anyway, let me know what you think.... good, bad or otherwise.. ..
( Möbius )
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| Monday, June 5th, 2006
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12:18 am - it's growing...
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tonight was the second game of kick the can.. .. this time around we almost had enough people for capture the flag and three people didn't even show because of crazy horrendous military schedules but we can totally count on them next week.. .. not to mention that i know from past experience that i can expect a certain amount of exponential growth because, well, it's just that fun.. and already the same thing is happening with the cops where they started out last week just a little confused and this week are totally accepting that some kids just want to play a game and they should just leave us alone.. .. which is cool.. ..
oh oh oh .. .. and unlike last week when i had to tweeze three very pleasant ticks out of one very unpleasant part of my body.. .. there were no ticks today.. .. i think i tied off properly for once.. .. so woot on that.. ..
oh and winter passing finally came out on dvd and since i've been waiting x times forever to see that movie and rented it tonight i am going to go and watch that now (i have a secret crush on zooey daschenal (sp)) (the secret is totally out of the bag!) (she's famous, don't hate, haters)
all my love...
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| Friday, June 2nd, 2006
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1:53 am - woot
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found out today that i will be in lovely tyndall afb, FL july 15-21 for some kind of training excersise.. i think that this particular training may be some kind of super busy field training excersise deal, not really sure, but i will look into it.. .. but if it is, for any reason, not the super busy type of thing that i think it might be,.. then man, i would surely love to pick up a car down there and drive to visit anyone i might happen to know in the around two hour driving vacinity of tyndall afb, .... if only i knew someone in the area.... if only if only if only..
in other news i found out today on a somewhat probable level the exact location of where i might be going on vacation for a few months toward the end of this year.. .. it'll be tons of fun.
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| Monday, May 29th, 2006
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1:31 am - well freakin finally..
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it took me two years here in this hell to gather just the right crowd.. but that crowd was tonight.. .. we played kick the can.. and it was hella fun.. .. not enough people for capture the flag yet,.. but as the kick the can crowd grows (and it will), we can always morph the game.. .. (and we will).. .. knob noster capture the flag,.. coming, summer 2006..
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| Friday, May 26th, 2006
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11:29 am - procrastination
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.... so i've been wanting to leave an update all week, really, and have pretty much been up all night every single day this week,.. so i could have updated were it in me to actually find the motivation.. .. instead i choose to sit here and update when i have somewhere to be in 30 min and have at least an hours worth of things to do already before i go there,.. .. why do i do this to myself?
this week i dropped a 40 megaton friendkiller on a perfectly good friendship,.. i'm not sure how to feel about that.. .. in a way i feel like it was not the right thing to do.. like i lost a really good friend in the transaction.. .. but on the other hand not only did the reaction help me to see how wrong i was about our friendship, but it made me feel better, too.. .. .. so yeah, that's all i can say about that right now.. such is life.
i'm going camping tonite.. .. it's been pretty warm lately, so it should be good.. .. i wish that it were michigan, though, and not missouri.. .. because unlike in michigan, here you can actually drive for three hours straight and still never find a single swimable lake.. and i would very much like a lake to swim in.. i don't care if it is still freezing.
uhm.. this entry is boring.. and i think the only thing that i actually wanted to talk about i left pretty vague.. .. such is life? no, not really.. because ive been working on trying not to be so vague and to actually express myself and to not worry about what people think/feel.. .. because seriously if someone can't handle it then fuckem.. shouldn't be reading anyway.. .. however, since i am pressed for time,.. maybe that is the simple source of my vagueness.. .. and not, therefore, edited for content.. and on that note, i should go and do my things. .. yes
xo
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